


Ride Home

by sugoiwasabi



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-21 01:16:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3672051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugoiwasabi/pseuds/sugoiwasabi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One man.<br/>Two Families.<br/>Someone special.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Call

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> This work is purely fictional and has nothing to do reality so please don't mix them up. Bear with the lazy writing because the entirety of this is for my own personal pleasure of having to experience my fellow comrades' explosions of melancholy.  
> If what's written makes you feel uncomfortable or agonizing to the point of your organs dismantling or having the desire to massacre thousands of Jews, I insist on consulting any humans willing to stab you with a machete, repeatedly.  
> For those of you who actually read this disclaimer,  
> why.

  The crowd was slowly muffled as we exited the stage. We got straight to the dressing room.

  Liam clapped my back as usual, smiling through his exhaustion, I didn't bother smile back. My cheeks were sore like they've been pulled like bread dough, except mine wasn't stretchable and actually felt genuine pain.

  The rest of the crew probably felt the same, but I guess I don't have the nature of having to bear with more muscle effort. We were all drenched with sweat, hunched over, hands cupping our faces. Each performance after the next was worse, I felt tired and pressured to keep up the good vibe during the concert.It felt too rushed to enjoy our prime as musicians. It's been five years since our band started out. It wasn't really that long, but for me it felt like three centuries. I was tired. We were all tired.

  In the next few moments were a blur. All I know is that we returned to our hotel in one piece. Louis and Harry took a bath, Liam and Niall went somewhere else and I decided to hit the sacks. No point in bathing now if I have to do it again the next day.

  The days after that that were packed with traveling, rehearsals, recording, choreography and all that other crap. It's not exactly pleasant to be tossed around from one thing to another. I mean, come on! This treatment was bollocks. I can hardly move after that night because I was working my ass off, now I'm completely working my ass off.

  I sighed and scratched my neck. A habit, that I never understood. Why does my brain think that when I'm irritated, there's a need to scratch a certain part of my body as though it would make me feel better? I don't know, and there are many other things I wouldn't know either. Not that I would care or even bother.And always, Liam sat and got on his phone. He was talking with his parents and I guess that's what he's supposed to do. That's what our group of five always do. We chat with our family whenever possible because we hardly see them. We never got home.

  After Liam hung up, he just sat. No reaction or anything really, he was a simple man. There wasn't anything to react to besides feeling homesick and start crying, but I know Liam well enough.

"Are you going to call too?" He gestured to my phone on the table.

"Nah. Maybe later."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

I would, Liam, but I'd start sobbing.


	2. Questions

  There's not a single star.

  When night falls all that was was the black sky. The moon wasn't there. All the stars shine on the ground instead. I wondered what's it like to be in a place where the stars are in their rightful place, where they belong.

  My mom once said that she would bring us where we could go stargazing. It would be really nice. Staring at infinite galaxy beyond us for hours. My eldest sister wouldn't enjoy that though, she would rather light up her face with her phone. The two younger ones would get restless after a while, and mom and dad would see it as a date. I find it incredible that they act like a young couple sometimes. I would like to love someone so much even in my older years. Must be nice to have someone that special. I smiled at that thought as I vowed to take my family there someday. For now it just wasn't possible.

  Liam joined me while drinking his Pepsi. I always wondered about this guy. He's always playing father, taking care of us kids. We get along really well though. But there are times where I don't get him. He doesn't get mad easily, or sad, or emotional really. Does he really feel that way or just putting on a brave front? I can't tell. Liam would put on a brave front, or would he?

  I feel like I should know him better, but I don't.

  "You like looking at stars," He said.

  "There aren't any here."

  "Stars are always there, Zayn. Only they can't be seen right now."

  "I know that."

  "Yes, you do."

  Liam the patient. The wise. Sort of like a saint, except that he doesn't respect my privacy. He probably figured me out by now, and it was unfair that I haven't. I thought I had, but I got lost.

  Liam stretched and shifted such that he would be facing me with one arm resting on his chin. He said," Zayn Malik, the rebel who doesn't like rules. One would think that a guy who smokes weed wouldn't be thinking all the time."

  "That's what we do, isn't it? Humans, they all think."

  "Not as much as you do," He paused," what do you always think about?"

  I shrugged,"Do you ever wish to be free, Liam?"

  He looked at me, thinking. I tried to look back. I started with a quick sigh.

  "You do that a lot now."

  I shrugged. I didn't know why sighing immediately means I'm depressed. I guess I was a little, but I'm more confused than ever. What should I do from now on? Should I continue to be what I am? Am I happy with the way I am? Is this really me?

  Man, I sound like a wrecked teenager. When I was a kid I used to think all my problems would be resolved when I become an adult. Adults seem to do that so quickly. I don't feel like an adult. Maybe I'm still not one yet.

  I scratched my neck.

  "Talk with me," He said.

  "Okay."

  "It's been hectic."

  "It is."

  "Sometimes I wished we could go back to being just a small thing. But then we have this fame and all that really gets us in the head and I used to think 'it isn't that bad'."

  "It's different now, right?"

  "Right."

  His eyes glinted like he knew something. I found myself staring into the night again.  
Talking with Liam was like an interrogation. I liked that. I liked his frankness and our little interrogation.

  "Eat something so it wouldn't make me feel like a giant," He said.

  "Why do people assume that I'm on a diet?"

  "I didn't say that."

  "Do boys diet?"

  "I've never tried nor want to."

  "Sounds about right. Can't see why you have to."

  "I'm serious, Zayn. You gotta get something in your body before you shrivel up. Don't come looking for me when you die of hunger."

   I laughed, I didn't know why, I just did. I admitted,"maybe that's what I'll end up as."

  "I'm getting you pizza. No one ever says no to pizza."

  "Alright, alright. I'll eat good from now on. Hell, I'll eat anything thrown at me."

  "There are many things to throw at you."

  "Yeah?"

  "First, let's start with some common sense."

  Hence, we went on till our eyes lids dropped and our heads heavy.


	3. Serious and Fun

  I was talking with our manager. He was going on about my behaviour and how it wasn't supposed to be. I just told him that I wasn't feeling up to it. No point in trying to convince him of my struggle.  What does he know about struggle? He was just doing his job.

  But this was my life, and as an adult, I am able to make my own decisions and live. What I want to do is all up to me, and if you can't respect that, you're disregarding me of my adulthood.

  I told him this. He was no longer rambling, he dropped his file and did the serious-business-folding-arms thing.

  He said," keeping this up won't do you any good. You may get asked to leave the band,  Zayn. You wouldn't want that would you? Nobody wants that either."

  "Oh, I'm sure your company would definitely want that. More than overjoyed to be kissing my ass goodbye."

  He looked at me for a moment, then sighed and the bastard went out the door. Why was every single person being so damn serious? I walked out of the room with my hands in my pocket. I felt all eyes on me before I saw. The four of them seated on the ground fooling around singing parodies of our songs. I found myself joining them as we laughed and took turns to mess up whatever we could. I cherished these moments where we the world only revolved around us, where nothing mattered except us five. If I could I'll bring all of them to somewhere else where we just have this kind of fun all we want.

  Harry squinted at me as he asked," what was _so_ important that you had to miss last night's meeting? You know those shitheads wouldn't be jolly about that."

  I pressed my lips together and shrugged, "didn't feel like it."

  "Come on, kid. It's just a meeting. An hour or two wouldn't hurt."

  I knew that they were worried sick. My relationship with the company was excellent, in pissing them off. Another flick at the switch and I could be sacked. It didn't help that the four were so touchy on the topic. I felt bad for being amused at their scrunched up little faces. I stood up and muttered "washroom" before proceeding to wash my face.

  I hated my reflection. I couldn't recognise who I was. I had always dismissed it as the fame getting to my head, but it seemed like I was just trying to be someone else. For what reason even I don't know. I haven't quite figured that out. It felt awful to see myself as an unknown. All I saw was a mess of hair and a skeletal and haggard face. Pitiful. I looked so pathetic, I almost feel sorry for my mother having given birth to me.

  _*Beep*_

  Text message. From Good ol' Liam.

  _'My room. Tonight.'_


	4. He

  I puffed a white cloud. I've done it again. Smoked pot. Though I don't really see what the big deal was. I stole a few drinks from Niall too. I was light headed and it felt really nice. I mean, I felt nothing. Nice. 

  I checked my watch. It was 2 am. Was Liam even awake? I tossed away my cigarette and headed for his door. I found myself staring at his door for a good five minutes before realising it was his door. I gave a knock and turned the knob. Liam sprung from his bed and ogled at me.

  "Whoa. Took you long enough. You were right. Guess what I saw when I walked in on Har- wait, are you stoned right now?"

  I grinned like crazy. He bubbled with laughter. Damn. I must have looked pretty dumb and dazed. He took a hand to ruffle my hair while he giggled. He cracked a smile that girls would swoon over.

  "Ah well, I had wanted to... never mind."

  "What? Spill."

  "You wouldn't be able to register what I say anyway."

  I normally would had pinched my way to get him to talk, but my hollow mind said otherwise. Liam closed the door and the only ones were us. Only us.

  His face blurred as I closed the divide between us and wrapped my arms around his waist. I breathed him as I rested against his chest. He squeezed back in return. I felt his breath drift across my neck and my vision doubled. I let my fingers glide over his lower spine and felt him twitch. I simpered as he played with my curls. What am I doing? What are _we_ doing?

  He tilted my chin with a hand and our lips met. It was a long feverish kiss. We exchanged pleasure and heat, bathing in our scent and exploring each other. We pulled away panting and gasping.

  "If I had known this, I would have given you all the weed in the world," He smirked, lips inches from mine. He traced my collarbone, gently pecking till I flushed bright red. Somehow we shifted and I had my back to the wall, pinned by Liam's grip. My cheeks dampened without warning. I didn't know I started crying until Liam got all flustered.

  "What is it? Why are you..."

  "Nothing, nothing!" I said in exasperation, still taken aback. I desperately tried to wipe off the tears but it wouldn't stop flowing.

  "Why am I crying?"

  I was enraged, confused and upset all at once. I think I might have been screaming. I couldn't tell. Liam lifted me to the bed. He cuddled with me as I buried my face in the pillows. I eventually calmed and collapsed into a slumber.

  My eyes jerked opened. I dozed for a good hour or so. I turned and there was Liam. His back was facing me, rising and falling.

  I liked Liam. I liked the curve of his back. I liked the way his aubrun eyes glinted and his strong jaw. I liked his steamy voice and strange fear of spoons. I liked everything about him.

  I love him. I love Liam Payne.

  I listened to his rhythm, and I went out like a flame.

  I woke up to my phone ringing and the beams of sunlight. I heard a groan and remained with my eyes shut.

  I knew. I didn't want to pick it up.


	5. Reckoning

  For days on an end, there was nothing but a bath of tears. When it was first announced, there was silence. It was like they knew the whole time, trying to avoid the inevitable.

  I looked down, staring at my toes. I was so upset and angry. I didn't want to look at them. I let out a breath lumping my throat, and thawed the frozen air.

  "I'm so sorry."

  That's when the switch was flipped. We took turns sobbing and hugging. There was nothing left to say. The company and I made up our minds. I remember Harry bawling for a solution although I was pretty sure he knows. Louis didn't let go of me till he cried his eyes out. Niall squeezed my hand and Liam held the other.

  I was sick of swimming in my woe. My eyes are swollen and I couldn't stop weeping. I thought that my nose was going to completely drop off by the time I stop sniffing. The pulse in my head was still steady and I just could not stop shaking.

  Niall decided to have a drink tribute and that's what we did. We huddled around the couch, screaming into the night and singing to Bohemian Rhapsody. We got intoxicated vodka, except the one with a rotten kidney, and slurred our farewells.

  I got pretty drunk as well. Said something I probably shouldn't have but I can't remember. Our last concert was a couple days away and I was dead serious not to fall ill or have any kind of stupid thing get in the way. I ate a lot, probably too much. Wasn't used to the sudden intake and felt way uncomfortable. All the while I stayed close to the lads. I did everything I wanted to do. I caught Louis and Harry, got on a (double) date with Liam and drank in a bar with Niall, again.

  After all the gross sobbing we were kind of dead. We didn't do anything except packing. We didn't talk anymore, too exhausted to be. The boys handed me a mountain of photographs, something about them never forgiving me if I ever forget them. I don't know. How could I even think about forgetting that?

  And of course, Liam made me a promise to call me every single day. Though I said every day was really too much, he desperately insisted on raising my phone bills. Did I deserve his love? Probably not. But I'll enjoy and abuse it while I can.

  I left promptly as I didn't want any more farewells. It can get kind of irritating. As selfish I can get, I didn't want extra guilt. Maybe this is for the best. I can't be wanting everything all the time. Then again, I really don't know what I am doing.

  I was greeted with kisses and embraces, consolation and comfort. It just made the confirmation that I was sure to be damned with even more guilt further in life. Looking forward to this and that.

  My mom wouldn't stop combing my hair with her fingers. Something that Liam would do as well. I was getting so spoiled by my family and I loved it. I missed mom's nagging and my sister's complains. My mom took me out for a walk, just the two of us, because she couldn't wait to reveal all my secrets. I guess it's fair since I wasn't by her side for so long.

  "Are you going to introduce to me that handsome young lad you've been dating??"

  "What?" I turned my head to see her grinning like a cat.

  "I am not called your mother for nothing," she said with too much satisfaction in gaining such a reaction.

  I groaned,"so you do know everything."

  "Everything. Why did you leave so soon if you love him so much? It's not like you."

  I stared at her because there was nothing I could answer with. She opened her mouth to speak, but I beat her to it.

  "Did you know that once, last year, I had sex in a pool?", I said. My smile widened as hers faded.

_"What?"_


End file.
